I’m working really hard right now. In the midst of a business launch, a re-brand and ongoing freelance bookings, there is a constant juggle, family life half-marathon training, the list continues and whilst I count my blessings for these opportunities, I frequently question if I’m working on the right thing, and when is it enough? This ‘busyness’ will be a very familiar feeling to you too. Perhaps this is why the term ‘work-life balance’ has had such stickiness, we love to pursue balance, but that’s all it ever seems to be - a pursuit. Something within reach.

So let’s start with the idea of balance.

Disclaimer: I got creative with the sketches in this post, prepare to be amazed.

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What does balance really mean?

In my research for this post, the following definition of balance stood out to me: ‘balance is about getting constant feedback from surroundings’ and adjusting accordingly. On a basic level, if you were to balance on a gymnastics beam, your feet would constantly search for feedback and work hard to stabilise the rest of your body.

In a broader sense, feedback from friends, family, colleagues, can help centre and make necessary adjustments. This is definitely true for me, if I had a £1 for every time my husband or close friends have had to give me a reality check, I could retire tomorrow! (but I wouldn’t really, I’m too excited about all these plans coming up)

When I read further into the topic, there’s exceptions to this need for balance, when the scales are tipped because of changing priorities. Perhaps the idea of balance is parked, once the following question is asked:

“What’s a priority for me at this current stage of my life?"

It might be that a project is ramping up to a launch or a passion project requires a spike at the start to get things moving. I think it’s OK to give permission for a busy spell, particularly for something that is really driving and motivating you.

Can you picture something coming up that will take up most of your time?There are a few considerations for fully committing:

• it has to be something you are fully passionate about
• there has to be a planned recovery spell - like after any high intensity burst, there is rest and recovery
• there still have to be boundaries in place - we’ll come back to boundaries in the near future!
• have you managed expectations around you? We’ll circle back to this point in this article!

A multi-category blend

Returning back to ‘work-life balance’ and while the phrase is problematic for me. In coaching I often get my clients to map out their Wheel Of Life, because it’s a lovely way to reflect on the multiple categories that exist. I think that work-life over-simplifies the scale of the challenge but it also suggests that they are binary opposites, in 2023 this isn’t the case.

If you were to write out all your commitments and then categorise them, there would be perhaps 4-7 categories. Each of these categories demand attention, energy and focus. I’ll often do a ‘present-state’ wheel and a ‘desired-state’ wheel so you can bring self-awareness to where you dedicate your energy.

So instead of a set of scales, with work on one side and life on the other, I see a pie chart, and a squiggly line within it to reflect the fluidity of where attention goes. Bringing self-awareness to this in the first instance is incredibly powerful.

Busyness calls for better prioritisation

When life inevitably gets busy, there are categories we need to prioritise over others. After all, there is only finite hours in the day and I hate to break it to you but you have only finite amounts of energy to get things done. For example, if I prioritise 75% of my energy to work, then what other aspects will be compromised and how do I manage this?

Asking others to step up when we need to step down

The reality is that in each of these categories there are missions or goals which I need to work on with other people, my goals are shared goals and therefore if the balance is tipped, the questions shouldn’t be around how I can continue to serve and step up for others, it’s about my ask to others around me.

So let’s return back to that definition of balance; getting feedback from the surroundings. I’m wondering if there’s a mindset shift required when our priorities change.

The founder of beauty company, The Ordinary, Nicola Kilner talked about changing priorities can prompt you to ask others to step up and support. No post of mine ever seems to exist with quoting Brene Brown but I really love the way she talks about marriage never being a 50/50 split, that if one person is running low at a 30, the partner has to step up to 70, but this will inevitably shift and reverse.What if there’s something that can be asked of the people in your surroundings.

So I ask you this:

If my energy is being diverted to somewhere else, what might I ask of others to ensure I don’t drop the spinning plate in the other priority categories?

When the scales are tipped and the balance is off, how can you both manage expectations and ask for support from those around you?

Exercise ideas to help self-awareness

I highly recommend drawing out your own wheel of life, the Wheel of Life worksheet on MindTools is really good.

If you’ve got something coming up or someone in mind you need to talk about your time commitments, have a think about how you’ll manage expectations but remember to listen out for any uncertainties or questions they have.

Have a great week x

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